I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize