I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize