She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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