Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize