Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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