i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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