Whod you bang
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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