And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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