Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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