apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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