I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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