So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My penis needs a shock collar
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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