My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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