i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
3pm strippers are depressing
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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