shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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