You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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