i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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