He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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