let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize