They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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