i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize