i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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