just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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