If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
no you cant smoke seaweed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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