He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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