It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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