May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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