We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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