Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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