He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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