I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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