So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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