I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize