i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize