Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize