Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
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I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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