Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's never too late to be topless.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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