Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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