Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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