we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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