maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize