1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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