Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to calm my uterus...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize