i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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