I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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