drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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