11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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