Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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