I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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