wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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